Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Fuck Detector EP on Dumb Choice Records

I have my own dumb ideas about Fargo, North Dakota, partially informed by Chuck Klosterman's Fargo Rock City, and my own small town. This three piece with the no nonsense name, Fuck Detector, from almost Canada are also fans of metal and hardcore and attempt to play their own version with incredible speed that ends up menacing as hell. They also imprison plants behind blinds while they stare out the window at their plant friends.

"Controlled by a Fucking Plant" has a nice intro from a public service announcement, a lady talking about the evils of listening to punk rock music, how it'll make you burn cigarette holes in your arm, I think she's trying to warn me about fuck detector? (If there was ever a useless machine...) They blast away in big time spped punk, heavy fast hardcore playing their hearts out. Blindingly fast its over as soon as you'd imagine on a four song side. "Stoned As A Bone" I like the lyric here feels like complete nonsense, Bill or Kasey is making distorted noises and it isn't preachy or after a serious message, just existing as a sort of a stoner hardcore. For sounding thin in that hardcore max volume way, "220 Boys" has a lot of lower end and they work out major weird changes so when they slow down for a second and get squealy unhardcore sounds, it's an interesting combo; to combine the thudding speed with any melodic stuff. This is another track where the last lyric is "You're dead". Thats what happens man - we're here for a second and then WHAM, its all over buddy.
"A Visit From Lady White" opens with nice harmonic palmed frets and a beefy crunch. They get a crazy full harmony vocal happening here with a full sound that when given the few moments to not be meth'd up they get a nice balance of metal and drive into Lightning Bolt territory. There's a heavy solo that shreds, but of course you'd want these guys to go there.
B-Side's "You Have Selected Regicide" features the best lyric 'I don't want to feel my face.' Sludgy then damn fast, again like rumbling time lapse earthquakes. This one's even more like Lightning Bolt but beer driven. "Marks and Squares" has thick guitars and throaty vocals with low end distortion. They get a cool, bassline feedback and scrape the chords down. Torture that guitar, they like high screechy noise and lots of it. They just don't have the patience for anything else. They go slow and sludgy metal in contrast with major control, no one can deny them that.
"Slagathor" has to be the name of someones car in town. This is slow but perky nailing big changes and cords while this vocal is in bizarre harmony with this. What can I say, I like a little melody now and then and these guys are more than capable, in fact it's the best thing they have going.

Get it from Dumb Choice Records, who also sent me a beer cozy which I'm going to go use on tar beach.

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