McDonald's Seven Inch?

Mcdonald's Seven Inch Interview:
(A conversation between me and my girlfriend this weekend:)

So, ok you told me, If I remember correctly, that there was a Mcdonalds 7"?

It might have been burger king.

Ok it might have been burger king.

Can I do some research before this interview?

No no no, it's all about memory.

I don't have memories I have amnesia.

The whole point is like....the reason why I like this idea is because this record may not have even existed... who cares, its the idea of it.

Well who has the whopper?

uhhh whopper is burger king.

I think it was burger king then...cause its..

Well lets get into...we're jumping ahead...so you told me there's a 7" from a fast food hamburger place, could have been Mcdonalds could have been burger king.

I think it was burger king, cause we ate at burger king, we didn't eat at Mcdonalds

Ok so you got it free?

We got it free.

Or it was in a happy meal thing?

Ummm I think we got it free, its possible it was in a happy meal, but I think you got it free if you ordered either a certain amount or you just got it, because I don't remember being a big happy meal fan.

Ok, so you got this record, was it an actual record like a thick record or was it a plastic... a thin plastic.

Ummm it could have been a plastic thin like ...

And you have to put a penny on and its like square, like a flexi?

No it was a circular record.

So it was a real record?

and it came in a sleeve.

What was on the sleeve?

Ummm I don't know. I dont remember...maybe a big whopper.

Ok, so onto the music or whatever, was it 2 sides both sides of it played?

ummm I don't know if it was 2 sides...

So one side you know for sure... but your saying one side was 2 all beef pattys special sauce pickles onion on a sesame seed bun?

yea

Cause thats big mac

which is who?

Mcdonalds.

oh well... is there whoppers?

I dont think whoppers had a song like that, it must have been Mcdonalds.

so it was mcdonalds then

...But it was a 2 sided record, so what was on the other side?

I don't know... you know that was an ad campaign I think that they just put...the thing was they made it into this competition like the same way people memorize the words to vanilla ice, it was like if you know all the words to...

could you go in there and say that and they would give you a...

(laughs) No.

ok so about the song itself...was there music?...behind the..

I remember it being like a song.

and is that all they said for 3 minutes?

or a rap kind of ....all beef patties special sauce..

like over and over and over?

well it was one long song that was it

So there were other lyrics like 'this is a great hamburger.'

no no it was like a rap like...'double sauce double cheese..dan dan na na na...sesame seed bun like super quick.

Did they do different versions, like ...a reggae version?

No

So you went home and you played it?

One of my sisters got it, I don't remember actually getting it at the place and then bringing it home with anticipation. We had a record player..

So somebody got it.

Somebody got it and like everything else in that house with 3 kids like it gets thrown to the bottom of a pile and then I found it and no one payed attention and I remember i like scratched into it and drew on it and tried to break it to see what would happen. and played it cause i played it and it was kind of boring and I know I had friends who were like 'oh I can say that' and I was kind of never interested. But I thought it was kind of cool to have a record you know I kind of like records in general. You know I had a ummm who's that guy that steals picnic baskets?

Yogi the bear?

Yea I had a yogi the bear record and I loved that record so much and then we had a disney princess cinderella record...but everything I had was hand me down.

Right.

I liked the idea of a record and I would play it but... I thought it was cool, i liked the music I liked that it was a little rap that it was so many words so quickly, but i was just annoyed by it...I was annoyed by the fact that people were memorizing it, that people cared.... I thought it was cool that people could talk that fast, but other than that I was bored...yea so...., like now what do I do now that I played it so then I was like oh a record what the hell is this, let me see if I can bend it and break it and I couldn't really it was made out of something weird.

Oh really? ...You couldn't really break it?

I feel like it was made out of something really bendable.

But its long gone... there's no way....

...and i just like made it into whatever I wanted after that I stopped listening to it you know let me drawn on it.

(laughing) Theres no way it still exists anywhere?

It could be in the house somewhere, no one threw it away, and I diddnt break it but it was really kind of flimsy so it could be gone you know my mom was like picking up a bunch of paperwork, newsletters that were stacked up and then...

she chucked it...yea yea...any final words?

what else do you want to know?...I mean the only other fast food story that tops it is Michael Jackson coming in and getting a signed portrait.

No... this interview is about records...jesus.

well i guess you could say burger king was a very musical experience.

IT WAS MCDONALDS!

Well I don't remember ever going to mcdonalds although I did have a ronald mcdonald doll.

THE END

I had a dream about going to see Jay Reatard, btu I was in high school, and it was one of those cool moments when you know no one else knows about this guy. I convinced everyone to go and he was playing a gym, or another school, or a college. We were hanging out on these stairs waiting for the show to start, I was trying to describe him to everyone, probably annoying the hell out of them. But man, I felt like the coolest.

I was a little dissapointed when I woke up.