Thursday, February 14, 2008

The white glove treatment

Where do I begin with this piece of work ebay listing. With the promise of nude pix's? The disgust with Baltimore? Or the random listing price of 6.16. Was he going for 6.66? That might have made sense, and I suppose it's worth that.. time will only tell.

The description is a mix of 'I know insanely a lot about the make up and dub narcotic' while also calling myself a retard. I'm as self depricating as they come but, do I really need to get a history lesson on DC Bands and be sold so hard on The Make Up? Am I going to read this and think 'Gosh I've never heard of this band, but now I just have to bid on this collectible 45. I'm also thinking, this isn't just a wikipedia entry copy and paste... he pontificates on the DC scene how they have a sense of style, like their sister city NY(?), while bands in dregs like Maryland just get up on stage in whatever they walked in with. You know what I mean right? Wink wink nudge nudge.

Wait I just relaized this guy is from maryland! Self hating 7" collector.

Then we get the the blue text crux of the listing, railing against ebay sellers who freakin' lay records down on the floor! Holy shit, don't get this guy started. I love imagining this house with hospital booties at the front door and hairnets....full of climate controlled 7"'s.
Not that I wouldn't buy records from him, of course I would. It's probably the best condition the record will be in it's whole life. And I learned a valuable lesson, I'll never lay a record down on the floor again.

But then wait, you lost me by explaining what a vinyl record is? Patronizing the bidders?
Interesting strategy..

I'm torn... its entertaining....and the gloved pic... hell that's a nice touch, it's classy. Like a fine 7" restaurant, can I examine the ring wear? hmmmm interesting and the matrix vintage ...a first pressing....
I mean no wonder I throw mine down on the floor when I want to auction/photograph them, because what the fuck do I care? I don't want them anymore right? They are going to be someone else's problem soon.

Oh well, I have to find some cleanroom gloves.


  1. This made me laugh. Should I be investing in white gloves? Probably not.

  2. Anonymous4:48 PM

    Oh man, Reptilian Records? That store's based in Baltimore, and is notorious for being kind of sketchy.

    Nice blog, by the way. Feeding it to my RSS beast.